Hope is in Hell!

 About two weeks later she elbowed a guy in the nose causing gushing blood and kicked him in the nuts almost simultaneously because he simply reached for her from behind. George laughed at the guy and told Hope, “See you are a bad ass.” Hope didn’t think that was bad ass in the least. It was disturbing. She was not a violent person and this was not anger, it was pure terror.  Nothing in Hope ever wanted to see anyone bleed, not on television and damned sure not as a result of her hands.  Hope needed help but she didn’t trust anyone.

Part 11:

Hope woke up before daylight. Her sleep pattern was erratic when things were troubling her. It was storming outside. The wind howled above the trees and the rain drops were hard against the roof. The sound was calming and the thunder and lightning were intriguing. Hope wondered who in her childhood had told her the rumbling sound was God bowling in Heaven. Why would they tell a child such a ridiculous story?  The sudden booming sounds also reminded her of a time in Seattle when a rare thunderstorm came through the city. People actually called 911 not knowing what it was. Hope giggled at the thought. In Texas there were moments the thunder would bang with an intensity and roll through the house like an army tank on the roof. It calmed her and she was thankful to hear and feel every vibration of Mother Nature.

Hope decided to get out of bed and went outside. She wished she could see the clouds but daylight was a couple of hours away.  It was pitch black except when lightning flashed and then lit up the sky with spider web like tracers  of light. She went to the middle of the yard and put her arms out to feel the large drops of rain hit her skin. Her little dog, Sandido watched her through the window from the comfort of the warm house. She was getting soaked from the downpour and she liked it. Her long hair was dripping with rain, pajamas soaked and her tank top now a darker shade of gray. If the neighbors saw her sitting on the ground in the middle of a storm they might want to put her in a strait jacket. Hope didn’t give a shit. The rainwater and cool wind felt good on her otherwise numb being.

As she sat in the wet grass she began to cry,  “What is wrong with me?” to no one in particular.  The only thing Hope wanted to do is stay home on her couch with her dog. Of course she went to work but only out of necessity, not because she wanted to. George had turned into a complete asshole. He was going through a divorce one day and the next he was moving the wife back in. It was exhausting and he was taking it out on every employee. Hope was exhausted and couldn’t gain any weight despite how hard she tried.  She knew something was wrong again but didn’t want to deal with it, with any of it.

Only a few knew what that robbery did to her. She woke up from nightmares dripping with sweat. She wasn’t talking to her therapist despite her attempts. Her on and off girlfriend was non-existent and she didn’t give a shit. Her reoccurring nightmare of waking naked and beaten in a parking lot was taking a toll on her and her well-being. She couldn’t shake this funk for anything except her dog. He was the reason she got up, went to work and came home. He sat with her through every nightmare, every horrid thought and every pound she continued to lose. He was her rock and thank goodness for him or she would have never went to the doctor.

Hope wasn’t just emotionally exhausted, her body was sick again. Instead of waiting through the endless appointments this time she told the essential people, boarded a plane and went to Barbie’s house. Two days after arriving she was at a world renowned center, gave them all of her savings and left the same day with a diagnosis and a surgery date. Everything went off without a hitch and 19 days later she was back at work.

The beloved job she once adored, she now had to fight to get back. No one understood what she had been through or her mental state and with the exception of Donna, she didn’t plan on telling anyone. She had her dog and a will to live and sat in that dreadful meeting with George explaining why she was still worthy of a job her coworkers tried to take from her while she was gone. After having doctors notes faxed, emailed and pretty much shoved up his ass, he had no choice but to take her back. George didn’t like lawsuits and according to some he felt Hope would sue him. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Hope did not have a litigious bone in her body. She despised the judicial system.

Donna had taken care of her home while she was gone and made sure Sandido went with Hope regardless of the financial burdens. Donna was her confidant and she had no idea how she would ever repay her except she knew she never would have to, they would be friends for life.

Weeks went by and Hope was simply taking day by day. Her body was still sore but she was insistent on letting no one know. She would do almost anything to stay numb. She was 39 years old and experimented with drugs for the first time. There were only a few instances and she knew it wasn’t for her.  Even though Hope tended bar she never drank while working and never did drugs. George was even more unbearable than ever before. Friday’s were the days she spent over 15 hours at that place and she came home exhausted. Her body still was not healed and all she wanted to do was sleep but that damned nightmare kept her from doing so. It was after daylight when her eyes finally closed.

 At 10:53 a.m. she  was awakened  to her doorbell ringing more than 20 times. Sandido was going crazy and she picked him up and opened the door to find George standing there. 

He began screaming and  an insane screaming, “Where is the fucking money bag?”

Hope stood sleepily and perplexed and managed to say “huh?”

“The fucking register 1 money bag, where is it?”

She had to stop for 2 seconds and think and replied “in the safe.”

“No it is fucking not, where is the fucking thing?”

She opened the door wider and said “come in.” She was worried about the neighbors listening to all of this.

“NO, where is the fucking bank bag?” George said without moving towards the door.

Obviously now she was more awake than 2 minutes ago and began recalling the night. “George, there was very little cash due to the amount of credit card transactions and I put it in the safe.”

“I don’t care about that, the fucking keys and shit. Where is register 1 money bag God Damnit?”

“George, what in the hell? I put it in the safe, I promise.” Hope began to remember putting it in there now and had no doubt about it.

“It’s not in the fucking safe you fucking idiot. Where is the God Damn bank bag for register 1? This is fucking bullshit. Son of a bitch this pisses me off.” George yells and begins to walk away and kicks some of the landscaping rocks as his phone is ringing and screams again, “I am already pissed off at you.”

He storms off to his vehicle and Hope stands there stunned. She shut the door and put down Sandido who is freaking out and hears the vehicle screech out of the driveway and speed away.

Hope shook her head and thought “What in the fuck was that?” She went to find her  phone. She had some missed calls. One was from a co-worker who was at work at the time.

Hope sent her a text: “Did y’all find the money bag?”

She replied “Yes Ma’am.”

“Well, where was it?”

“It was in the safe against the wall.”

Hope simply sent a text back, “Okay.”

She decided to make some coffee and fight off the tears when the doorbell starts ringing again followed by an affirmative knock. Hope says out loud “Jesus, now what?”

It is the police. “Ma’am, are you okay?”

It is obvious Hope had been crying. “Yes, I am fine.”

“We received a call of threatening language. Can we come in to check the premises?”

“You can come in but that was my ex-husband.  He was angry about some money. I apologize for the disturbance but he is gone and will not be back.” Hope lied.

The one officer behind the pillar says “Could you tell him he almost hit a little boy on the bike when he backed up and left?” She said she would and assured the officers there would be not more problems.

“Okay ma’am, are you positive we do not need to check the premises and you are not in any danger?”

“Yes sir, everything is fine.”

She shut the door again for the second time this morning and shook her head. She texted the manager and ask if the new girl still wanted to work. He replied “No, I told her don’t come in because you were working.”

She replied by saying “given that the cops just left and what happened this morning I did not want to go to work.”

He replied a short time later and said she was working.

Hope was frightened to step foot in that place. The damn job she used to love and adore so much.

To be continued....

Hope Freaks Out

Part 10:

Hope could hear a voice but it seemed distant “Hope, are you okay, what happened?”

She couldn’t see but knew it was Hugo. She moaned, “Call George” as she made her way to the phone. Everything was blurry but she managed to call 911. 

“911, do you need police or emergency services?”

“Shit if I know, ouch my head hurts.” Hope said.

“Ma’am are you injured?”

“Pretty sure I was robbed, I think. I need to sit down. Why in the fuck did they hit me?”

“Ma’am are you injured? I have dispatched the police. They are on their way. Can you give me a description? Was there a weapon involved?”

Hope was confused so she just sat on the floor and Hugo handed her his cell phone and she heard a familiar voice. She was looking for her cell phone at the same time but everything was still a blur.”

“Hope, it’s Allen. Hugo doesn’t know what’s going on. What is going on?” she heard simultaneously with the sound of the dispatcher “Ma’am, stay with me on the phone.”

“I need to call George. Hugo do you see my phone? Allen I was robbed, I think.” And she handed Hugo his cell phone.

“Ma’am, what is your name?” The dispatcher said loudly.

“I don’t know. Hope I think. Why did they hit me? Fuck my arm hurts. I think I heard the sound of a loud diesel exhaust, it is pretty distinct and then he said “ don’t call the cops you stupid bitch.” She was fumbling with her cell phone looking for George’s number. She was shaking and beginning to cry. “God damned it, I need to call my boss and I can’t make this piece of shit arm work correctly.”

“Hope, stay on the phone with me until the police arrive. Are you injured? Was there a gun?” The dispatcher pleaded.

“I don’t know, I just don’t know.” She said in full blown tears now.

Finally she found George’s number and hit send. When he answered she blurted out “they robbed me George” and she heard the dispatchers’ voice again.

“Hope can you give a description of the suspects?”

“No, but his voice has a Latino accent. The other has black hair. They have hoodies on and the one who hit me has a mask. Why did they hit me? My head hurts and my arm won’t work. This is pissing me off.”

“Stay calm and stay on the phone with me. The police are at the door and you need to let them in.” 

Hope didn’t even look up. She heard their radios and Hugo opening the door. She was still sitting on the floor behind the bar with two phones. She was nauseous and felt like she was going to puke.

She knew the first cop on the scene and he said “oh shit, not you Hope. Are you okay?  As he hung up the phone for her and knelt down next to her. “Hope, I need you to tell me what they looked like.” 

He put his hand on her arm and she jumped. She repeated what she had just told the dispatcher. He tried to touch her arm and she cried out. He then told another officer she was injured. Hope told him to move but he didn’t get out of the way and she puked on his shoe.

Everything got blurred again and the next time she looked up there was four police men and then the door flew open and George came flying in with a .38 pistol in his hand. The cops yelled at him to put it away and then they recognized him. He was yelling, “I am going to kill the mother fuckers.”

Hope dry heaved some and George went to her and tried to touch her but she shuddered away from him or anyone touching her. She couldn’t figure out what hurt worse, her arm where she had been kicked or her shoulder or her head. It was like the pain was playing ping pong. “Hope do you need to go to the hospital?”

She shook her head “no” and heard Allen come in the door accompanied by another coworker, Tammy. Then she heard Matt’s voice and  began to cry. People were throwing questions at her like she was a fucking encyclopedia. “Did he have a gun? What did they look like? Are you hurt? What did they get? Are you okay? Do you want some water? ”

Hope put her hand up in the air and said “shut up, my head hurts and if any of you ask me if I’m okay again I am going to hurt you. It’s pretty obvious I am, shit.  There were two of them, one Hispanic and one black. I don’t know about a gun and I am not shot so I can’t even draw a conclusion, it was fast. They kicked me and hit me with something after throwing me against a pole. Go look at the video for fucks sake. I heard a diesel truck.  Tammy, call Linda and tell her what happened. Allen, go talk to Hugo in Spanish because he didn’t see them and I know no one has talked to him. He was closing the gate. George, they got all of today’s money, all of mine and whatever I swept off in the bag out of the safe. Someone give me a cigarette.”

Hope put her head down on the table and listened to all of them go do their things. The initial cop started to talk to Hope and she said “No, I might puke again. I think I might have a head issue.”

“You probably need to go to the hospital to get checked out but robbery division is on their way.”

“Shush, go look at the damned video.” And she put her head back down on the table.

Tammy came over to her and told her Linda was there. She looked up and started to cry again. “What in the fuck?” Hope cried out to both of them.

Tammy put her hand gently on Hope’s shoulder and said “When they called me and said we had gotten robbed I said, please no, not Hope.”

Hope was in a full blown sob now and Linda and Tammy hugged her simultaneously. They knew the hell Hope had endured in life. Tammy was especially worried about the impact this was going to have on Hope’s well-being and all of her progress.  The two had bonded over the summer despite the 15 year age difference and opposite personalities.

All of the sudden a new cop was on the scene and ordered everyone who didn’t work there or involved to get out. No one moved including Linda. She wasn’t going to leave Hope right now. Another jackass cop said “you all heard him, this is a crime scene.”

Matt said “we all work here” and George said “I own the mother fucker.”

They made Linda go sit out in the car and everyone else except Hugo and Hope sit on the other side of the bar.  Her body was trembling and Allen and Matt were getting pissed. There was no reason she should have to sit there all alone when they were not even talking to her. Allen had enough and walked over to her and said “come on, I am taking you to the hospital.” The cop said “no, she needs to wait for robbery division.” Hope stood up with the aid of Allen and said “shoot me then Barney, you are the one with the bullet” and walked out with Allen to the hospital.

As soon as she was about to be seen the Constable called and asked her to come back because the detective was there. The doctor hesitantly said it was okay and to come back as quickly as she could. When she arrived back to the scene the detective from the robbery division said "what are you doing here? I would have come to you." Hope explained how they called her at the ER and told her to return. A look of anger came over her face as she looked towards the officers and said “what the fuck is wrong with y’all? You don’t hold a victim at the scene with injuries and you sure in the hell don’t ask her to come away from the hospital. Jesus Christ.”

Hope was tired and in tremendous pain. She insisted on giving her statement because she was already there. Then she promptly returned to the emergency room. They ran a series of tests including an MRI because the left side of her face was beginning to swell quite noticeably.  Linda relieved Allen after a few hours and finally got to take Hope home.She stayed on the love seat next to the couch where Hope slept. She knew Hope wouldn’t ask her to but she knew she needed it. Hell, she was exhausted too.  

The next morning they went back to the bar, talked with some more detectives and watched the video. Hope puked again. This was the most she had ever thrown up in her life. There was indeed a gun and it was pointed at her head almost the entire time. She couldn’t even make out how heavy the robber was. He had on huge clothes, a hoodie and a mask. It was frightening to think about much less go through. It was awful. She told Linda she would follow her home since her car was still there from the night before. She wanted out of there and fast.

Hope went back to work the next day with the mindset she was not going to be a victim. She threw the arm sling away after 12 hours. It was confining and she didn’t believe anything which wasn’t broken should not be restricted. Those thugs were not going to win. Linda had stayed with her in the living room for two nights but she needed to go spend the night with Thor at some point. Donna stayed the third night and someone followed her home every night after work for about a week. 

George went through insanely wonderful measures, such as an alarm system complete with panic buttons and her own remote. They had security 7 days a week instead of three. Seven more cameras were installed and Hope was doing fine or so she thought. She had one of the worst black eyes anyone had ever seen but she didn’t care, she could see so and that’s what mattered. The MRI had only showed a slight concussion which she did not understand in the first place. She told George, “If I am not brain damaged then why does it matter?” He laughed and said “I knew you were a bad ass.” Hope despised those disgusting words.

 About two weeks later she elbowed a guy in the nose causing gushing blood and kicked him in the nuts almost simultaneously because he simply reached for her from behind. George laughed at the guy and told Hope, “see you are a bad ass.” Hope didn’t think that was bad ass in the least. It was disturbing. She was not a violent person and this was not anger, it was pure terror.  Nothing in Hope ever wanted to see anyone bleed, not on television and damned sure not as a result of her hands.  Hope needed help but she didn’t trust anyone.

To be continued...

Hope Goes Black

Part 9:
It’s been nine months since Hope rolled back into the great state of Texas. Many people don’t realize she walked off that plane with $50, no vehicle and no home. Being the amazing people they are, Rusty and Tia provided her with a home, car and acceptance. As she sat on her very own back porch, in her new home, memories of that first Friday night she came back to Texas played through her mind. 

I remember being on the verge of tears. Why couldn’t I just figure out what I wanted out of life? Who in the hell packs up twice in a year’s time and moves across the country and back? For a woman who is not a fan of change I sure put a capital C up on that bitch. Three jobs, three homes and three…well never mind.

Some didn’t like Hope’s decisions or her honesty but she was fine with that. There was a new awakening in her and she felt like jumping up and down on her couch. Never before was she able to buy something without wondering if someone else would like it. She always wondered when she bought a piece of furniture if someone would like it. Did someone like the food she made? Will they like the way these jeans look? Perhaps she should take a certain job because others will be proud. 

Oh my God it was exhausting. So she quit doing stuff for anyone other than herself. She bought furniture she liked, jeans she liked and the fuckers didn’t have to be starched or a certain brand. She started to play in the kitchen and cooked food she wanted and liked. Some may have viewed it as selfish but she knew better.

So, to make a long story short, Hope sat in her bed tapping away on her laptop, in her new house, in a bed she bought for herself because she liked it. When she was finished she would drive to a job she liked, in her own car, while wearing comfortable jeans with holes in them and have fun doing all of it.

Hope decided to look at life like gravity. She would rather jump out of the plane, soar through the sky, feel the wind, look at the scenery, feel the excitement of gravity taking charge rather than fight it the entire way down worrying about the landing. It was time to take pleasure in letting go. She was no longer going to battle her way through this thing called life. Gravity will eventually take over. It is more fun to be weightless!

Even if Hope was happy she was missing a couple things in life. She needed a dog if she was never going to find love again. Her therapist told her it was time to commit to something other than employment and Hope agreed. Abby stayed with Rusty and Tia of course. She explained to Donna who was proving to be one of her closest confidants, that she was looking online at rescue organizations for a dog. One of them wanted her to pay some $700 plus dollars for a dog. Donna put an end to that immediately telling her the scam. The next day she sent Hope some pictures from the shelter she worked at.

As Hope viewed the pictures the small little Chihuahua mix she sent stuck in her mind. Hope called Donna and asked for more information.
“What’s his story?”
“There is not much on his card other than he was found outside some people’s house. He is skinny and sick and some dipshit put aggressive on his cage and he is a sweetheart. He had no feces in his cage and when I took him out to go he went for a long time.”
“Should I meet him?” Hope asked hesitantly.
“Yes, I will bring him over tonight.”

The little dog came in the house, smelled Zeauxi who is Linda’s dog; they exchanged some words and were fine. Hope watched him but didn’t pick him up He came over to her and sat down. It was a done deal. There would be no breaking in period. They bonded instantly and Hope took the next 3 weeks getting him well and strong.

Despite Hope’s inability to be her partner, she and Donna maintained a wonderful friendship and honestly Hope did not know what she would do without her. She had a sixth sense for animals and a true heart. The work she did was amazing and incomprehensible to most and not in the scope of her employment. Fitting people with animals is one she knew and did it so well. Hope could not even imagine what her day was filled with and she did it so effortlessly. It was admirable.

A couple of months went by and Hope was at work listening to the usual banter as she kept watching a regular named Abigail. The lady was crazy but Hope and Rusty had just been talking about how it takes all kinds of individuals to make up this thing called life. Some people went to work to make money. Not Hope, she was currently going  for the people and entertainment. The money was a great bonus though. She enjoyed watching people and more importantly their behavior. Well, unless you are a jack ass and then she took pleasure in observing karma kick in or her kicking them out.

Abigail came up to the bar to order a drink and introduce Hope to her fiancé. He was nice, polite and cute. They were playing grab ass and kissing way too much for Hope to observe them in detail. She wasn’t interested in taking voyeurism to a new level. This was the fourth fiancé Hope had met in the past five or so weeks. The first one was also a decent looking man who seemed pretty normal. Fiance number two was an odd geeky looking dude. The third was a woman. She was older and looked tired, similar to a cucumber at a convent, very worn out. So imagine Hope’s shock when she got to meet number four.

“Where in the hell does she get these people?” Hope said to Hugo, her bar back who spoke little English.
“Que?”
“Nada, doesn’t matter.” she said as she went to help someone else.

As she walked off she heard the two discussing apartment hunting. Hope wondered if they were searching for a two bedroom to accommodate the female fiancé or maybe they should be looking into an entire complex to house all of her partners. She wasn’t trying to judge her but damn, the woman was a piece of work. She wasn’t ugly but Hope had seen better bodies in a scrap yard. She wasn’t beat by an ugly stick either. Oh well, Hope thought, it takes all kinds. 

It was really slow for a Monday but that sometimes happened especially with the holiday’s approaching. Hope couldn’t believe Thanksgiving was next week. The year had flown by and she needed to figure out if she was going to spend the holidays with Barbie who had finally divorced the fucknut or her on again/off again girlfriend, Magara. 

Hope met Magara through an old friend from junior high who found her on Facebook. She was instantly attracted to her but she had some unresolved issues. Add three adult beverages to her and it equaled bat shit crazy. It was Hope’s biggest turn off in life, a bad drunk. The relationship worked though in a completely dysfunctional way. They lived on opposite parts of town, worked different hours and really only saw each other a few times a week. Hope had no intention of ever living together or taking any other drastic measures. Magara didn’t know what she wanted either so they just fought or fucked really, for lack of better words.

People were leaving for the night and Hugo had closed up the kitchen. Her last customers were number 4 and Abigail. They had already closed their tab and were walking towards the door when Hope overheard Abigail say “I have never been with another man,” Hope spit her water out. Well, that’s a bunch of shit she thought. That woman has seen more ceilings than Michelangelo. If all of her lovers came to dinner they would call it the Last Supper.

Hope said goodnight as they walked out the door. Hugo asked her for her keys to go lock the back gate and she started doing her paperwork. All of the sudden she heard a loud bang and looked towards the back door.

“Give me all of the money Bitch. Hurry the fuck up you stupid bitch.”

Hope didn’t say a word. She handed him the money bag as the man snatched her by the shirt and threw her towards the safe.

“I said all of it you fucking idiot.”

She opened the safe and swept its contents into the bag he was holding. He kicked her to hurry and she said “that’s it, get out of here.”

“Fuck you bitch, get up.” He said snatching her by the hair and pushing her towards the back door. 

Another guy was standing there and said “hurry up Mother Fucker.”

He shoved her against one of the support beams and said “don’t call the cops you stupid bitch” and then Hope felt a sharp pain on the top of her head and everything went black.

..............The End!….....

Just kidding...To be continued, yes again!